So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize