Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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