But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
