no, he came in my armpit
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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