If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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