I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Randomize
