But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
