My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
