i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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