so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
