I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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