I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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