I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are the jesus of drinking
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
