Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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