do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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