Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
