He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
