Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
