2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
