Sponge bath it is.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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