I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
