Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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