don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
