I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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