I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
