New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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