so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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