this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize