I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
did i walk over a car last night?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
