K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
