It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
