I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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