I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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