She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
