ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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