ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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