Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
