Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
