apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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