I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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