Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
