Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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