I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
