Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
