I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
