I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I just shit out all my problems.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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