chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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