so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
