you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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