i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
