So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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