Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize