There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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