so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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