put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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