Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
