summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We're too hungover to prance.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
