Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
