so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
