90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
