she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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