Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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