You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
