never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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