wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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