1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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